I for Innocence, Ignorance and Impunity.

I for Innocence, Inertia and Impunity

I find it fascinating, that the same behaviour that endears children to us, seems repulsive in adults.


Let me give you an example-


Now, I have a quirk (You can decide for yourselves whether desirable or not)- When I cook, I will estimate the amount of food needed for the number of people dining, and keep very little margin for flexibility. That way, there is minimal food wastage, yes. But also, if one extra person visits us unexpectedly, my ecosystem will collapse!


As any Indian woman running a household would know, it would mean I’d serve my share (and risk collapsing myself!), than accept my table ran out of food!


This is a dialogue between a ‘relative’, Lil Miss and myself, a couple of years back. Now, like many from their sub-category, this relative was ‘relatively’ related to me, and we shared nothing in common except for our species. But before that, a background for context.


So, we had her over for lunch, one day. Now, having entertained her a couple of times before, I knew she sounded all informal, but kept a mental checklist of all items served. I am reasonably certain she even graded my courtesy with compliments, small talk, degree of smiling and giggling, ability to coax her into eating some more, etc). While I cared two hoots for her checklist, I still wanted to be a good host and was trying my best in my good-natured, but bumbling and chaotic sort of way.


Lil Miss is an observant little being. While she may have sharper intellect than I do, her lack of social filter is as profound (perhaps more) as mine. But then, again, she is not married. (Hah! You didn’t expect a lame, irrelevant marriage joke from a woman, huh!)


She watched as Aunty nodded, gesturing me to put a third helping of curry, before she had finished the first two helpings. (Before she had begun eating, to be precise.)


Lil Miss: Aunty, Mumma says take a little and finish it before taking more. No wasting food. (Here, she wagged her index finger. I swallowed hard.)


Aunty: Oh! But I’m older. I can finish it.


Lil Miss: You CAN. But the question is, WILL YOU? (Here, she put her hands on her waist, mimicking me!)


Me: (Coughing loudly) Aunty, why don’t you try these fritters?


Lil Miss: No, no. First finish the curry and rice. Else, you will fill your tummy with fritters and waste the curry!)


Aunty: Hehe! (She grabbed more fritters.


Me: Goggling at my daughter( who was too preoccupied to glance at me) No more talking while eating.


Aunty: So cute!


We finished our meal in uncomfortable, but well mannered silence.


As I rose, Aunty handed me her dish, a ladleful of curry lying ignored, insulted, discarded.


I had already nudged the publicly obedient daughter and warned her against uttering any more instructions.


So, Little Miss did something worse.


In exaggerated gestures she asked me, all the while pointing towards the wasted curry, what we would do with it!


Meanwhile, she left her dish in the sink and helped me clean the table.


Aunty: Good girl! You are raising her well. Girls must learn household chores from a young age.


Me: Thank you, Aunty. I’m sure I would have taught my child the same, even if it were a son.


Aunty: (Glaring at me) This is the problem with women today. No respect for elders.


I learnt my lesson- Me + No filter= Rude

Lil Miss + No Filter= Cute


I used the above math to solve my problems during Covid. Each time a visitor flouted rules and tried getting too close, or pushed their masks below their noses, Lil Miss, at my signal, would announce-


“Mumma! Now the site is contaminated! We will need to get a COVID test for all of us!”


The offenders would instantly pull up their masks, saying, “So cute!”



Here is a little poem to remind us, why the child is the Father of Man.


https://khushandherepifunnies.blogspot.com/2023/01/father-and-i.html



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