F for Falooda, Facade and Feminism

Since it is hot out there, let us treat ourselves to something cool. What better than the coolest topic to support- Feminism! It is the flavour of the season, and the most popular hashtag for a reason!


Of course, there is some preparation involved. But once you get that done, it can be assembled into an Insta-reel-worthy dish in no time.




Ingredients:



Feminist ice cream, which goes by the name ‘I scream’.

Vermicelli: The long convoluted type, made of centuries of hardwired misogyny.

Seeds: Of self-doubt

Milk: Basic hard work

Rose water: No, it is just sweat mixed with blood (both, metaphoric and menstrual) but seen through rose-coloured glasses

Toppings: Nuts (They are optional, but they always let themselves in.)





Preparation:


Cook the vermicelli of misogyny with all the entangled egos of seven generations or more, on the slow flame of logic. Cook till they are soft and mushy, and stop poking out of the pan. The convolutions would also have been sorted out.

You have already been soaking the seeds of self-doubt in your mind, over your lifetime. While you toss on the bed, they would have taken root in your mind and erupted in the form of offshoots all over your life, to date. Now, take a sharp sickle (Self-confidence works well too), and chop them off. Better still, grab them with your bare hands and uproot them entirely.





Assembling:


Now put your hard work, your rosy optimism, the I scream all in a tall glass.(Hold your chin up, while you do it.)


Now, there are two ways to proceed from here on. And they will yield two drastically different versions of Falooda.


Version 1: True feminism

Discard the misogynist vermicelli and seeds of self-doubt. Flush it down the drain, or burn it to ashes. (Burn the bridges that would lead to importing of a fresh crop of those wretched seeds as well.)


This is true feminism. And drink it to make the world a better place.


Version 2: Fake Feminism

Here, you take the misogynist vermicelli (Often partly uncooked, with a nasty bite to it) and the seeds of self-doubt and mix it right in with all your hard work and rosy optimism. And you churn it into a melting, confusing, icky mess.

This is, unfortunately, the more popular version- the facade ki jad.(niche joke)

As for toppings- the nuts (read naysayers) will jump in anytime, without you asking for it.


Please note: Nowhere does the recipe mention the gender of the I scream. It is supposed to before all genders. If you thought otherwise, you have been consuming the second recipe all this while. For once cast off the facade, and try the first recipe.

Serving Suggestion: Serve with cold indifference.

 
If you like my recipe, comment below with which recipes I should post next.






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