E for the Ecofriendly, Economic Ecognorant.

There is an elderly couple in my neighbourhood, whose home I frequent. And it is time I introduce you all to them.




Why? Because E- for the elderly. Also, if you are going to follow me for 26 blogs over a month, you will understand that I will have to introduce you to a lot of people to generate content!




Nattu Kaka and Sweety Aunty (not Kaki, mind you!)




Nattu Kaka is like aam ka achaar stored in a Nutella jar- He wears Hermes tees and shorts that are crisply ironed, at all times of the day. He has a neatly ironed kerchief in his pocket and he drives a BMW. But he talks in a basic Gujju accent and will argue his point with the choicest of slang words- Dafod being his favourite. (To the non-Gujjus, I will explain Dafod- in great detail, in another blog.)




Sweety Aunty is sour-faced most of the time. I am certain she gave that nickname to herself because no one identifies her with that sentiment. She wears cotton saris, dyes her hair jet black, and keeps it tied in a neat bun. She complains all day, including when someone calls her by Kaki/Maasi/Ba or any of the other regional Gujju endearments. She is also the most practical woman I know.




Their children live abroad (US, UK…how does it matter?), and they spend almost half the year shuttling between the kids’ homes. The rest of the time, they educate me about the right way to live , which is learnt from the nice people in Florida, which was the last place they mentioned, when I was paying attention.




This is one such conversation-





Nattu Kaka- (Taking a break while scrolling on his iPhone.And yes, iPhone cannot be called a phone, I have been told.) Bloody these municipality buggers in India, I tell you! You should see the way they keep their streets clean. And look at it here, so much garbage strewn on the street.




Sweety Aunty: Yeah, you can talk after you go throw out the trash. Can’t you hear?




All of a sudden, I could hear the omnipresent -Gaadiwaala aaya zara kachra nikaal….the refrain that sends a million Indians scurrying for their ‘dus-bins’ in lungis and nighties.




I helped uncle add the garbage the mountain of mango peels and packets of Kurkure in the truck.




Nattu Kaka: Look, no differentiation between wet and dry waste. Back in Flo–




Now, at this stage, I must introduce a third character- the Ecognorant. This subspecies of humans (to which I belong) has 3 basic characteristics.




They are good-natured people who get inspired every time they hear someone talk about Saving the Planet, going Ecofriendly, Saving water…and so on.


They are always on a budget and often face disappointment at the prices of a lot of products that are (supposedly) ecofriendly- Read Sustainable Fashion and the works.


They have no idea how to incorporate this idealism in everyday life, and thus, their eco-friendly efforts are limited to making posters for competetions on World Environment Day and liking reels of environmental activists on social media.




For some time now, I have been aware of my ecognorance, and I decided Nattu Kaka and his pearls of Floridian wisdom would finally help me come out of the carbon footprint closet.




Nattu Kaka: What you must begin with, is rainwater harvesting.




Me: Oh yes, that I can. And I can water my plants with the harvested water. (Punching my fist in the air)




Sweety Aunty: That is for monsoon. For now, at least start harvesting your RO filter water.




Nattu Kaka: Oh, at my daughter’s place, they have this wonderful concealed system…the wastewater directly collects in a tank…And the compost? You must see their compost pit! Every house has one in the backyard…




Sweety Aunty: Our neighbour Sarita does the same. She treats our garden as her backyard. Every evening, she shoves a polythene bag full of waste over the fence. But we don’t say anything…because…Love thy neighbour. (Here, she glared at Nattu Kaka with anything but love.)




Nattu Kaka: Aah, she cares for our house when we are gone. Let her be…but the point is, these polythene bags, single-use plastics…




Sweety Aunty: First, you stop ordering food takeaways….those plastic containers….




Nattu Kaka: The ones you horde by the dozen? A dabba within a dabba within a bigger dabba? Like Matryoshka dolls? He he…




Sweety Aunty: Yes, the ones you would throw away? And then, go ahead and buy reusable containers for your plants?




Nattu Kaka: All this is middle-class mentality…asking the vegetable vendor to provide a separate plastic bag for every single vegetable you buy…




Sweety Aunty: You first get the PUC certificate for your rusted car sorted!




I began to feel I was not being addressed to, or needed, and I decided to make a quiet exit. (I have done this before- arriving at their only with prior notice so that Aunty could keep her signature Kachoris ready. I often slip out while they are arguing, but they seldom notice. We resume conversation at the next visit, as if nothing happened!)





As I drove into the parking lot, I saw the watchman keeping vigil over a tiny fire. Horribly smelly fire.




Me: What are you burning, Chacha?




Watchman Chacha: There were a lot of plastic bags in the trash can in the common area. I emptied them in the kachrawaala truck. But this plastic? Madam, do you know- it is poison? Cows injest it and die. Plastic buried in the soil poisons the soil! I saw it on YouTube! (Here, he flashed a proud grin.)




Me: Oh!




Watchman Uncle: So I am burning all of it. All the pollution will go up in ashes!





Can all of you help ecogorants like me and watchman Chacha? Can each of you mention in comments, one way in which you are helping our planet?




Meanwhile here is one story- a modern day fairytale to sensitize kids about the perilious situation of Mother Earth. It has a lot of classic fairytale characters, with a twist! It works well as a read aloud story too, if your kids are little! As for adults, I promise it will enthuse you enough to find ecofriendly answers, while making you chuckle!




Clink on the link below-





Fairytails https://penmancy.com/fairytails/






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